In my formative business years while working at Immortal Records in Los Angeles, I had a unique experience as an A&R person to conceptualize and executive produce an album featuring NBA Players as rappers in a now infamous moment in Sports History. The album, “B-Ball’s Best Kept Secret” sold about 10 records and I bought 5 (wink), but was important for more than just the album sales. For me I got the opportunity to spend time with and know 12 NBA Players who in turn wanted me to help them understand the music business. It setup some very interesting relationships with both players and the NBA that I maintain today.

One of the relationships I cherish the most from that album was with the late Malik Sealy. Malik at the time was playing for the Indiana Pacers and contributed to the album as an “MC” but what I got out of that relationship was so much more then his song. Malik had this very smart and very demanding “assistant” Raqiba who turned out to be his sister. I so enjoyed my time going back and forth with this persistent young lady that when I became Sr. Director of Marketing at Columbia Records in NYC I hired her as my assistant. She made my life better and I had the opportunity to spend time with her and her amazing mother Anne. My family’s life was enriched by Malik, Raqiba and her mother Anne.

So when I got the news that Malik had been killed in a car accident I was stunned and very very sad. At the time I knew a lot of celebrities and athletes and none as poised and character driven as Malik Sealy. He was a basketball star who was extremely important to the image of the NBA. While most athletes were trying to do record labels at that time, Malik started a tie business. The cat could dress!

I miss Malik Sealy but thankfully his legacy lives through his amazing family. I recently reconnected with Raqiba on Facebook and thought I would share a post she shared on her brother.

ABOUT MALIK FROM RAQIBA (SEALY) BOURNE

All of my brothers were born during the month of February, so whenever the month rolls around, I find myself thinking deeply about each of their lives, as their respective birthdays approach. My late brother Malik was born on the first day of February. It is painful and sad for me to think about his life because I miss him so much, but I do it for the sake of his memory. I talk about him to my children, who never had a chance to meet him and do atleast one special thing to honor his memory. This year, I decided to write a list of lessons learned from his life. That list is below.

On February 1, 2009, I celebrated what would have been my brother Malik’s 39th birthday. I reflected on what his life has taught me and continues to teach me. The lessons are endless, but in honor of what would have been his 39th birthday, I listed 39. For the sake of brevity, I will only share 21 – his favorite number.

1. Life is fleeting. We can be alive in this moment and then pass on in the next. Since life is fleeting, let’s appreciate every moment we are given – every moment.

2. Engage children. Malik was known for encouraging children to present themselves confidently when addressing others. He was a very loving father and uncle. Many of his friends mention that he confronted their sons about giving a proper handshake or tying their ties correctly.

3. Don’t drink and drive. It is dangerous, thoughtless and someone can be hurt or killed as a result of drunk driving, each and every time it happens. If you’re going to drink, hand your keys to a designated sober driver or take another form of transportation (e.g. taxi, bus, etc.). As Malik was driving home late one evening, he was killed by a drunk driver that was driving on the wrong side of the road.

4. Be multi-faceted. Malik was well-known for his athletic skill, but he was also a businessman, a mentor, a humanitarian, a great cook, he knew how to sew and he was very intelligent and spiritual.

5. Listen to what people say, but watch what they do. Malik applied this expression which was told to us by our father when we were children.

6. Seek out mentors. Malik sought out leaders in his field, which he needed to help him develop and mature. It takes humility and vulnerability to seek help.

7. Consider the legacy you are leaving behind.

8. Continue to grow and learn every day. One of the last conversations I had with Malik was about him practicing yoga and visualization while on the road. He was continually challenging himself to grow and confront the challenges of life.

9. Enjoy what you enjoy.

10. Present yourself well in your clothing.

11. Decide what advancement toward your goal is worth.

12. Be a gracious and hospitable host.

13. Build a strong team of people around you, in your personal and professional endeavors.

14. Have a sense of humor and put it to good use.

15. Regard other human beings when you interact with them. Malik applied an expression our mother often told us when we were children – “Remember, it’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice.”

16. When the slings and arrows of misfortune are aimed at and heading toward you, learn not to take it personally.

17. Don’t internalize abuse or foolishness.

18. The spirit endures.

19. People appreciate when you remember their names.

20. You can win over some of your harshest critics.

21. You must maintain your peace.

That’s my list. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as I enjoyed honoring Malik. Now, if you knew Malik or were impacted by him in some way, please feel free to comment and share

-Raqiba Sealy